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The Offense of the Defense of Marriage
In a recent episode of Futurama, the professor is faced with a group protesting the teaching of evolution in school. The protest is lead by an orangutan, Dr. Banjo, who claims that if evolution (which is just a theory “like gravity or the shape of the Earth”) were fact, there would be no ‘missing link’ […]
The Offense of the Defense of Marriage
In a recent episode of Futurama, the professor is faced with a group protesting the teaching of evolution in school. The protest is lead by an orangutan, Dr. Banjo, who claims that if evolution (which is just a theory "like gravity or the shape of the Earth") were fact, there would be no 'missing link' between ape and human, whereupon Dr. Farnsworth lists every connection between ape and human save one.
After losing the argument because it's very difficult to argue facts against ignorance and stupidity, Dr. Farnsworth declares "I don't want to live on this planet anymore," and he takes...
More → The Toilet Saga
There's nothing we like better than a well-written book, and there is nothing like a well-written book inside the runaway bestselling ode to chastity and the most boring girlfriend in the world known as Twilight, by some weepy-eyed hack living out her teenaged girl fantasies writing sloppy, one-dimensional dreck.
We have to hand it to Stephanie something-or-other for being smart enough to tap into that deep, nay, bottomless pit of longing that lives inside the flat-chested breast of, let's say, 50% of the American Girl population, along with another 20% of the flat-chested gay men who long, also, to be teenaged...
More → Bad Ads
Watching TV means watching advertising, just like going online means racist comments from homophobes. You just have to put up with them, and will occasionally be forced to watch some really poor examples of what the marketing departments and ad agencies think will make us drop everything and switch brands or try a new razor or buy a new car.
We watch a lot of television at the World Domination HQ, so we see a lot of shit, but sometimes the shit that comes pouring off the screen is so egregiously annoying, offensive or ignorant that we have to draw your...
More → How to Insult the One Percent
It has come to our attention that Helen Thomas has fired herself from her job for insulting the entire Jewish community by stating that they should get the hell out of Palestine and go somewhere else like Poland or Germany. The White House even stepped into the fray and denounced the crotchety old lady and she has since apologized for voicing an unpopular and apparently offensive opinion like all the rest of us do, only we put them on YouTube anonymously.
So we started thinking, huh (which is how we always start our thinking) I wonder what would happen if she...
More → Unconfirmed Rumors
Next week, Apple head honcho Steve Jobs will stand up on stage at Moscone Center in San Francisco during the company's annual World Wide Developer's Conference and announce a new iPhone that everyone has already seen.
The ice cream sandwich, as our lab boys are calling it (even available in two flavors, chocolate and vanilla) takes the familiar and comfy design of the current iPhone, sits it under a steam roller and adds a new front-facing camera so you can become even more annoyed with AT&T when you can't complete your video conference.
The fact that everyone already knows about it...
More → Facepeople
Here's what we understand about Facebook, in no particular order
You never had any privacy in the first place.
A lot of people are complaining that Facebook is too invasive. They say that the service (which is free) is taking too many liberties with their freedom and asking too much of its members, sharing everything they do and say with everyone else.
Number one: Whuh huh? It was our impression that you choose to do or say whatever it is you are doing and saying on that service. You're still on the internet, you're still typing into a computer sending your words and...
More → Words Matter
Anyone else notice a general lack of attention being duly paid to the words and phrases we are using from day to day? The vernacular is being systematically pared down on one hand, while words are being repositioned or invented on the other.
We're certainly not against a colorful vocabulary, but we're aware that some words are falling into disuse or abuse and we'd like to remedy that situation, in some circumstances.
So here's a list of words we'd prefer to start hearing and reading to return us all to a gentler, more beautiful world.
Napsack
Messenger bags are so 2005. Backpacks belong on...
More → On the Coming of Out
It is still odd to us here at Glassdog World Domination - perhaps because our goal is world domination and we want to dominate everyone so any particular one's self-identity is pretty much beside the point - that the anachronistic concept of declaring one's sexuality is still something worthy of a "thing."
In other words, why is it that one set of persons has to declare this, and another set doesn't? Does one declare one's eye color? No, one does not. Does one appear on Time Magazine's cover under the headline, "Yep, I'm left-handed!" No, one does not. And yet....
It would...
More → A Natural Disaster
Earthquakes, volcanos, tidal waves, Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin. Is there no end to the nightmares we must suffer as residents of planet Earth? Here in America, the greatest country that was ever invented by rich white men for rich white men, we're catching up on the BBC's programme of animals having sex with each other and killing each other while having sex with each other, and they called it "Life," even managing to keep a straight face doing it. And while the lucky residents of the British Isles were listening to the high-definition sounds of brutality narrated by David...
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