(Same) Sex on the Floor

Realizing that their golden boy is floundering under a barrage of negative news out of Iraq and a wheezing economy, Senate Republicans will take the question of gay marriage to the floor next month, coincidentally weeks before the Democratic National Convention, knowing they don’t have the votes to get a Constitutional Amendment to float. Reps are stating that the issue was “thrust upon them” by “activist judges,” and they’re just doing what they have to do because support for the Amendment comes from a “cross-section of America.”
Democratic presidential hopeful Kerry, whose home state of Massachusetts is currently legally marrying same-sex couples, says the issue should be decided by the states. Republicans are hoping that the national dialog turns from such insignificant issues like legalized torture and the re-brewing Enron scandal to this one, so that there can be a lot more sermonizing about the godless heathen homosexual agenda that wants to turn this country into one big rectal exam.
Speaking of giant assholes, President Bush. (Honestly, I don’t have anything I can tie that together with, but it was too good of a segue to ignore.)

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