VulvaMae and Leparno sitting in a tree

Julia, are you in a quandary about what to name your baby? Feeling one-upped by What’s Her Name and that Rocker boyfriend? Don’t want the usual, common names? Hoping for something memorable and truly original? Well, Julia, we found just the resource you need! At The Utah Baby Namer, you’ll find just the right name that’s a helluva lot more original than Apple.
Julia, you’ve got twins on the way. Howzabout Xanderrick and VaVern Roberts for boys, and Jae’ Vonna and MervelDean Roberts for girls? Or one of each! Imagine the joy you’ll feel calling out, “Quorum! KimiKae! It’s Christmas! Time to get up!” Golly, I bet your heart is beating right out of your chest with excitement.
If you only had a chest.

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