Like anybody with at least three-quarters of a functioning brain, I’d rather vote for a bag of sand and gravel than George W. Bush. But that doesn’t mean that I’m part of the MoveOn-donating, “fuggedaboutit!”-shouting, Moore-fellating hoards. I’m a liberal, sure, but not dogmatic about it.
So I have a lot of trouble in the bumper sticker department. Bumper stickers are all about pithy one-liners, and that’s exactly what’s wrong with political debate these days. You can’t fit nuance into the space.
So instead of being all negative about it — Me? Never! — I’d like to propose some new stickers, for those few of us who still sit somewhere between the handles on the political see-saw. If you look back fondly on the days of a “sensible center,” baby, these are for you.
First, something that notes opposition to the invasion of Iraq, while still leaving room for war as a legitimate means of defense:
WAR IS NOT USUALLY THE ANSWER
Next, an expression of disapprove of the current administration, without playing petty tit-for-tat:
If He Commits What Is Constitutionally
Defined as an Impeachable Offense. Until
then, Just Vote Against Him, as I Plan To.
For those who appreciate the difference between the popular vote and how presidents are actually elected:
And This Time, in
the Electoral College,
And finally, if you’re interested in expressing an opinion on your fiscal priorities:
IT WILL BE A GREAT DAY WHEN
SCHOOLS HAVE ALL THE MONEY THEY
NEED AND THE MILITARY HAS TO HOLD
A BAKE SALE TO BUY A BOMBER.
WELL, MAYBE “GREAT” IS TOO STRONG
A WORD. “IRONIC” WORKS BETTER.
HEY, MAYBE WE SHOULD ADEQUATELY
FUND BOTH, AS DEFENSE AND EDUCATION
ARE LEGITIMATE PRIORITIES. WE
COULD GET THE MONEY BY REVERSING THE
RECENT TAX CUTS THAT LARGELY WENT TO
THE RICHEST 1% OF THE POPULATION,
FOR A START.
But I’d need to a get an SUV to have a bumper big enough to fit that sticker, and I’m not that much of an asshole.
Do you have any ideas? Post ’em in the comments!