Whipping the nipple

The FCC is thinking about fining Fox Broadcasting a cool million in fines for “indecency” stemming from a segment on the turgid and rather dull reality series “Married by America” in which contestants licked whipped cream off each other’s bodies.
Yes, you read that correctly. Americans are living in a country where braodcasting people shooting bullets into each other’s bodies is absolutely fine, but broadcasting the licking of whipped cream results in a $1 million fee, payable to the government, for making us all feel dirty… and/or like we’re not having as much fun with dairy products as we could be.
For those keeping track, this means that flashing a woman’s nipple will only cost approximately half of what using Cool Whip in a unintended way will set you back, according to the United States government. And please keep killing each other on television–it’s free!

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