Choose Heterosexuality!

On behalf of fags everywhere, I want to apologize for the 2004 election’s predictable disaster. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say very plainly: “Gays lost Kerry the White House.”
Over the last two years, some really exciting things happened that set the stage for the legitimization of homosexuality: the US Supreme Court ruled that Texas sodomy laws were an invasion of privacy; the MA Supreme Court ruled that laws banning same-sex marriage were unconstitutional; and SF Mayor Gavin Newsom began issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples. Wow! What an exciting time to be gay – finally, legal recognition that being gay is not immoral because it is not a choice; rather, it’s a core facet of the human condition.
Unfortunately, legal recognition of faggotry scares the shit out of the morality police — even though state recognition of marriage has nothing to do with religion or morality. Sadly, the backlash against legal rulings recognizing homosexuality in San Francisco, Massachusetts, and Texas created a perfect storm that played perfectly into Karl Rove’s hands. The tactic – use state gay marriage amendments as the foundation upon which to mobilize the religious fundamentalist vote.
I’m really sorry that my amoral lifestyle choice lost Kerry the election. I guess I have no choice but to give up my sinful ways, get married to a woman, and make her and myself miserable ever after.

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