Moral values? More value

Are you troubled by the big moral questions of the day? In a world where even 70% of godless Californians cited moral values as a deciding factor in the polling place and Bush got one fifth the gay vote, we need to reassess our priorities. As Sandra Bernhard might plead: “I think it’s time to mellow things out a little bit … what do you say?”
Let’s rewind the political clock and get back to our favorite good old-fashioned American tradition: consumerism. The folks at Mighty Goods have the answer to your pressing value questions. Like all good blogs (glassdog excluded, of course), the thinking is done for you here. Where else can you find a silhouette cutting kit and your dad’s favorite caramel sauce under one cyber-roof? And all at a reasonable price.
For those who want to be value conscious without the budget restrictions (just think GWB), check out the latest in exorbitantly-priced power suits. Remember, expensive man-armour is the only boardroom antidote to the toxic above-the-knee skirt and stiletto heel. To be the power-broker you deserve to be, just add red tie and emulate your favorite rich old white man.
And remember, the bible says little against oppressing women and enslaving non-Christians, so go to town — just be sure to shop first.

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