Hand jobs are the new blow jobs

Good news everyone! Hand jobs are back! In a recent article the L.A. Weekly (not a real newpaper) reported about the resurgence of the hand job as the I don’t need to stay over, do I? sex act du jour.
Fans of the blow job were reported to reply with “Mwwaaa haaw ahahahw hawwwmm mma <spit>.”*
The article says some of the obvious perks of the hand are that it can happen almost anywhere, you don’t need to remove your UGG boots to give it and etiquette doesn’t mandate you spend the night.
The new fad isn’t without it’s detractors:

“It�s creepy, it reminds me of, like, you accidentally ended up in a car with your teacher and you gave him a hand job.”

Having accidentally gotten an A in Chemistry once I can totally relate.
Special credit: Kudos to the good folks at Chex who’ve taken the new fad by the balls in selecting their new tagline.
* I kind of apologize for that. Kind of.

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