New Year’s Strokin’ Eve!

Dick Clark suffered a stroke at his Malibu home on Monday, and the first thing everyone wondered was, “he’s not dead, yet?” The second thing was, “but what about New Year’s Eve?”
See, here in America, it’s traditional to sit down in front of the television rather than go out someplace and celebrate, what with the fears of drunk drivers, pickpockets, terrorists and mad dogs. And for the least 150 years, the program we’ve all turned to to herald another year of world supremacy and environmental rape is Dick Clark’s New Years’ Rockin’ Eve featuring Daryl Hall and John Oates! But this year, Dick’s stroke has thrown us all for a loop.
Guess we’ll just have to get sauced and beat up the kids, like we did before telly.

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