What if the Army had to hold bake sales…

An Army reservist’s plan to sell some of his 49ers memorabilia to raise money for equipment to protect himself while in Iraq was going swimmingly. People were chipping in, the eBay auction was going fine and he might have actually gotten some of the body armor he needed until the Army found out.
The soldier’s reserve unit announced that its soldiers in Iraq have all the equipment they need. The Army has apparently whittled the list of needed equipment down to:

1. bodybag

Maj. Barbara Kuhn, who I’m guessing is not allowed to marry in the country she’s protecting, had this to say:

“All of our soldiers get body armor. It’s a bulletproof vest, a very extravagant version, that goes around the neck and has ceramic plates in it. It’s the gee-whiz, high-tech gear.”

Soldiers, who would be better protected by donning a Darth Vader voice changing helmet and convincing freedom haters that James Earl Jones was about to bust a cap in their ass, are apparently not so convinced.
Maj. Kuhn went on to score major points on the unintentional irony scale with this gem:

“…there was concern that the money raised was going to be used for their personal benefit.”

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