Glassdog World Domination (“Glassdog”) and its official information dissemination organ (
“Penis”“glassdog.com”) hereby and henceforth restrict users (“dirty rat bastards”) from modifying the content of glassdog.com in any way, using any means whatsoever. Don’t you people realize that weblog content is, in fact, handed down from God (“Dave Winer”), and it is a sin of the gravest order to attempt to make it useful? Geez.
Specifically included in this restriction are browser-based technologies such as Google’s AutoLink (“the Apocalypse”), Microsoft’s SmartTags (“the Now-Quaint Apocalypse”) and the neurological signals generated when light from your monitor strikes the receptors in your eye. In fact, just having your monitor convert glassdog.com to a visible from is a violation of this agreement. You’re doing it already! Stop it!
Further, no archival copies of glassdog.com content may be stored, because you’ll undoubtedly do something like keep track of what we said even after we sober up and change it. That goes for you, too, Google (“The Enemy”). The term “archival copies” also refers to long- and short-term memories stored for personal use in your brain. If you have memories of glassdog.com content, you must delete them immediately. If you need help, we’ll be glad to come over with a ball-peen hammer.
The site’s XML feed may not be used. It’s there for aesthetic reasons.
The fact that a Web site — and, more specifically, Web content — is made available to world-wide audience, presumably to actually be used by that audience in some way, does not limit or restrict the scope of this agreement. Let’s not bring common sense into it.
Finally, by simply by reading this agreement, you are in volition of its terms. Our lawyers will be in touch.
Thank you and have a nice day.