Here’s the new Pope, same as the old Pope

Unsurprisingly, Pope Benedict XVI pronounced same-sex marriage as “expressions of an anarchic freedom,” but also magnanimously included civil unions and trial marriages, so it’s not just the gays to blame this time! He said that marriage is not just a “casual sociological construction” that could be changed at certain times, but that it’s an institution, like Disneyland, John Waters, and the fuck-me pump.
Not content to merely insult anyone engaged in a union or coupling that doesn’t end in the marriage of one man to one woman, his Popeness also condemned divorce and artifical birth control, stating that these were dangerous to the family.
“The greatest expression of freedom is not the search for pleasure,” he said, and then did not add, “rather, it is when one manages to hold off for a while during sex, you know, and not come suddenly, but to let it build, and build, and build, lots of stroking, some sucking, keep building, maybe even back off, you know, kiss each other, some fondling, nipple play works, too, and then hit it again and keep going and then really blow your load. Man, that is sweet.”

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