We didn’t mean to stop. We really didn’t. It just… sort of… happened.
If we wanted to – all of us here at Glassdog World Domination – we could pinpoint and delineate the reasons. Key word: “If.” We are not so inclined because, truth be told, there have been endeavors to do exactly that a number of times over the past few months (adding up to a couple of years) but they always end up sounding like the lonely, broken old man who chases the kids off the lawn with flamethrowers and rabid poodles. “The lawn” in this case being the entire web, and “the kids” being pretty much anyone who has ever left a comment at YouTube, and the “rabid poodles” being the odd assortment of nuclear-waste victims in the Labs.
So rather than that, we have decided to jettison everything that was here and start fresh as if nothing ever happened. Remember Design-O-Rama? We don’t. What about Overheard? Or The Vacation Project? The ill-defined attempt at gathering a bunch of equally ill-tempered writers and throw them into a psychedelic stew, hoping to somehow drum up interest with anger and annoyance? Gone.
We examined it all and as we did so, a common wonderment concerning the reasons why anyone would want to see any of that now kept cropping up. Well, we were kind of nostalgic about it all, but nostalgia for the sake of nostalgia is like digging up Princess Di’s corpse just to fuck it. Let’s face it, her best years are behind her.
So what have we here? Nothing! Absolutely nothing. The proverbial clean slate. The new start. The fresh beginning. Yes, boys and girls, we’re going ahead as if the past never even happened. Because why? Because!
(Oh, yeah. If you’re looking around for that Lance guy, as always, he has his own home to take care of. He might be hanging around here like some sad, pathetic has-been hanger-on, but frankly we’re not going out of our way to prod his cold, pudgy carcass with a stick.)
The best part of all this is that we don’t have to accede to any demands or expectations. Who the hell knows what was going on here before? We sure don’t! Think of this as being under new management, and you’ve come back expecting to sit in the same old ratty vinyl booths and get the same old crappy service and the same watered-down drinks and soggy French Fries. Instead you find the place boarded up with plywood and a poster for a liquor license pasted to the doors.
We don’t know what we’re going to do, yet. The plans aren’t dry, and the contractors aren’t hired. Hell, at this point we don’t even have a budget or a schedule. All we know is that we are once again marching forward into that bright, hot tomorrow with a fresh, clean Pee Chee folder, a fresh set of Dixon Ticonderogas (#2) and a pink eraser with the imprinted label still clear to read. There’s an unopened package of college-ruled paper on the desk and the school bell is about to ring.
Hi! Welcome back!
Okay… let’s go.