It has come to our attention that the United States Supreme Court is of the opinion that corporations should be enjoying "free speech" rights, but only as far as contributing to political candidates and causes. It is perhaps an unsurprising turn of events, since corporations have been growing more and more inhuman (and therefore human) as the years pass, delivering toxic goods in the form of inexpensive foodstuffs and trying to convince us that smoking is bad and therefore good for us. With that in mind, we'd like to propose a few more laws that need better definition or simple institutionalization...