Author Archives: Blue Steele


Me no beeleeve constant email chekking make me stoopider. Me sure stouppiddity be caught from Prezident and Gubernor, like a cold or anthrax. Me smrt! Smrt I tell U!

Posted in The Wonderful WWW | 1 Comment

The Red Menace

Rock isn’t the Devil’s music at all, it’s a Communist mind-control program.

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Those aren’t Bugle Boy Jeans he’s ordering.

On the phone, President Lyndon B. Johnson needs some pants, the color of powder on a lady’s face with deep pockets so his knife doesn’t fall out when he sits and relaxes after work. These and other fine Commander in … Continue reading

Posted in Daily Doldrums | Comments Off on Those aren’t Bugle Boy Jeans he’s ordering.

Christo v. Somerville

Christo: Redefining familiar public space, involving even reluctant people in art. Somerville: Redefining familiar private space, involving reluctant feline in “art”. Christo’s Gates viewing time: 16 days Somerville Gates viewing time: Until the cleaning lady comes.

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Making it up as they go along

The Socialist Republic of San Francisco has plenty of laws and plenty of crime, but that doesn’t stop the cops from inventing infractions to harass innocent citizens.

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Valentine Revenge

Do it. Give her some shiny trinket, a love poem, a few posies, hell, sing her a song. Whatever your lady’s idea of a soft focus super romantic holiday is, make that come true today for her, but insist on … Continue reading

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In Defense of the Gates

While my esteemed Glassdog co-conspirator was quick to do what people of our generation are prone to do with anything – crush it and dismiss it as worthless so they do not run the risk of being judged as having … Continue reading

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Horseface and Tampon to Wed

She: matronly from birth and Diana’s nemesis. He: wished he was a tampon and heir to the throne. They: are finally going to wed in a move to get the Queen to hurry up and head down the same road … Continue reading

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Runway Runaway

For those of you following project Runway, I hope you’re not shocked when Austin gets eliminated – sloppy web skills have had him marked in the store as elimated for three weeks. I think since the most prescient part of … Continue reading

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One less morning chore

You know what I like? Cereal. You know what I don’t have a lot of time for? Breakfast. You know what product you’ll never be able to talk me into no matter how much it means more breakfast and more … Continue reading

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