Author Archives: Dick Septic

Fuck The South

“All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for.” I love a well-done … Continue reading

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Luke, I am your big brother!

Three cheers for the jackasses at Homeland Security. In their neverending quest to keep us safe from bad dialogue they’ve made their first ever criminal bit torrent bust. Employing technology known as BitTorrent, the Elite Torrents network attracted more than … Continue reading

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TIGERrrrr!!!!

“Whatcha doin’ tonight?” “DUDE!! Installin’ TIGER, natch.” “Oh, that is totally hot.” “Yeah, operating systems are hot!” “TIGER!!!!” “Tigrrrrrrrrr!” “High five!”

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teenalterboy.com

The web is abuzz with good feeling about web personality and ironic eyewear owner Rogers Cadenhead (not his real name). Rogers, you see, had the foresight to snatch up benedictxvi.com, along with a buffet of other possible papal names, way … Continue reading

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Armed Fetus Ornament

I’ll just quote from the product description on this: Protect our troops – from the womb to the war. What if the fetus you were going to abort would grow up to be a soldier bringing democracy to a godless … Continue reading

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Texas votes to take children away from gay parents

The Texas House of Representatives passed a bill banning homosexuals, bisexuals and transsexuals from being foster parents. Furthermore, the same bill allows for children to be TAKEN AWAY from ‘non-heterosexual’ foster parents. The Texas Republican Party has decided that it’s … Continue reading

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Heil His Holiness

Correspondents at the Glassdog Vatican Branch have found the following crumpled document in a wastebasket of the Sistine Chapel:

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God, why can’t they ALL be this stupid?

Ted Nugent, everyone’s favorite gun nut and the only man keeping the Dumbest Human On The Planet trophy from Ozzy Osbourne’s shaky little hands, recently told an NRA crowd that each NRA member should… try to enroll 10 new members … Continue reading

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We do what we can

Besides being an avid skiier, single-handedly bringing down Communism, making sure the gay folk couldn’t marry, Catholic women stayed pregnant, and moving child-molesting priests from parish to parish like chess pieces to stay one step ahead of former alter boys’ … Continue reading

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Remembering John Paul II

ESPN writes a fitting tribute to the outgoing Catholic sportsman. “We were like all the other mountain boys, winter was long in Poland.”

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