Author Archives: Mystery Date

Paralyzingly Beautiful

For those of you with hard-to-shop-for parents, you may want to consider botox injections. It is important first to make sure that the last will and testament is in order and life insurance policies are up-to-date. What price beauty?

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I really hate Apple

Well, the cluetrain has left the station, and Apple wasn’t on board. They’re basically saying that they went ahead and reviewed their products for you, and guess what? … they’re all GREAT! So, go ahead and throw them a bone; … Continue reading

Posted in Fashion Victim | 4 Comments

Moral values? More value

Are you troubled by the big moral questions of the day? In a world where even 70% of godless Californians cited moral values as a deciding factor in the polling place and Bush got one fifth the gay vote, we … Continue reading

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Choose Heterosexuality!

On behalf of fags everywhere, I want to apologize for the 2004 election’s predictable disaster. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say very plainly: “Gays lost Kerry the White House.” Over the last two years, some … Continue reading

Posted in Politics As Usual | 1 Comment

Heathcliff, It’s Me; I’m Cathy!

I’ve come home! There are two ways to re-enact your favorite scenes from Wuthering Heights: Doing the Kate Bush interpretive dance from her landmark 1978 video — it’s especially fun in downtown parks during lunch hour. For those who are … Continue reading

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Now in fashion colors!

I�ve been involved in an ongoing argu � um � conversation about the appropriate use of color in one�s wardrobe. My point of view: the judicious use of the occasional garish tone or print can make an interesting and fun … Continue reading

Posted in Art for Art's Sake | 1 Comment

Pride and the mustache-man parade

Thank God the good folks at Macromedia invented Flash! There really is no better way to experience the Gay Pride Parade than this scintillating game from the boys at gay.com. The text intro says it best: �Can you maneuver your … Continue reading

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Nanook-of-the-North Boots (and knocking them)

Despite that there is no change in my patrician fa�ade, I can assure you my heart is breaking. Isaac Mizrahi is at it again, and he seems to have discovered the secret of my fashion success. I am a well-cultured … Continue reading

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An ugly dress will Save Your Soul

From the Catwalk: After a spring of wind and rain, the warm, roomy embrace of sack dresses and burlap fabrics promises a welcome change. Cuddling up with Jesus (while deflecting the prying eyes of bubba and daddy) has never sounded … Continue reading

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Sex with a minor … don’t go there!

My home state of Virginia has finally entered the … er … 20th century with its new billboard campaign: isn’t she a little young. Apparently, our Virginia Gentlemen are being tricked into committing statutory rape by underage harlots. This simply … Continue reading

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