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Daily Doldrums Archive
Laws of the 21st Century
It has come to our attention that the United States Supreme Court is of the opinion that corporations should be enjoying "free speech" rights, but only as far as contributing to political candidates and causes. It is perhaps an unsurprising turn of events, since corporations have been growing more and more inhuman (and therefore human) as the years pass, delivering toxic goods in the form of inexpensive foodstuffs and trying to convince us that smoking is bad and therefore good for us.
With that in mind, we'd like to propose a few more laws that need better definition or simple institutionalization...
More → The Toilet Saga
There's nothing we like better than a well-written book, and there is nothing like a well-written book inside the runaway bestselling ode to chastity and the most boring girlfriend in the world known as Twilight, by some weepy-eyed hack living out her teenaged girl fantasies writing sloppy, one-dimensional dreck.
We have to hand it to Stephanie something-or-other for being smart enough to tap into that deep, nay, bottomless pit of longing that lives inside the flat-chested breast of, let's say, 50% of the American Girl population, along with another 20% of the flat-chested gay men who long, also, to be teenaged...
More → Unconfirmed Rumors
Next week, Apple head honcho Steve Jobs will stand up on stage at Moscone Center in San Francisco during the company's annual World Wide Developer's Conference and announce a new iPhone that everyone has already seen.
The ice cream sandwich, as our lab boys are calling it (even available in two flavors, chocolate and vanilla) takes the familiar and comfy design of the current iPhone, sits it under a steam roller and adds a new front-facing camera so you can become even more annoyed with AT&T when you can't complete your video conference.
The fact that everyone already knows about it...
More → Facepeople
Here's what we understand about Facebook, in no particular order
You never had any privacy in the first place.
A lot of people are complaining that Facebook is too invasive. They say that the service (which is free) is taking too many liberties with their freedom and asking too much of its members, sharing everything they do and say with everyone else.
Number one: Whuh huh? It was our impression that you choose to do or say whatever it is you are doing and saying on that service. You're still on the internet, you're still typing into a computer sending your words and...
More → Words Matter
Anyone else notice a general lack of attention being duly paid to the words and phrases we are using from day to day? The vernacular is being systematically pared down on one hand, while words are being repositioned or invented on the other.
We're certainly not against a colorful vocabulary, but we're aware that some words are falling into disuse or abuse and we'd like to remedy that situation, in some circumstances.
So here's a list of words we'd prefer to start hearing and reading to return us all to a gentler, more beautiful world.
Napsack
Messenger bags are so 2005. Backpacks belong on...
More → A Natural Disaster
Earthquakes, volcanos, tidal waves, Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin. Is there no end to the nightmares we must suffer as residents of planet Earth? Here in America, the greatest country that was ever invented by rich white men for rich white men, we're catching up on the BBC's programme of animals having sex with each other and killing each other while having sex with each other, and they called it "Life," even managing to keep a straight face doing it. And while the lucky residents of the British Isles were listening to the high-definition sounds of brutality narrated by David...
More → Ebert’s Game
Hello friends and enemies. Some time in the past, film critic Roger Ebert stated that video games are not art - scratch that - can never be art, like film can be. As a film critic, there's probably some built-in prejudice to his position. Additionally, it would appear that he has never played any video games at all, let alone some (or one) of the titles that are often cited as artistic - examples being Shadow of the Colossus, Psychonauts and Fallout.
Our immediate thought regarding the debate was, "why does it matter?" Why would Mr. Ebert be concerned with stating...
More → What Drug Does One Take to Recover From Prescription Drug Commercials?
Some of the crew here at Glassdog World Domination Headquarters suffers from insomnia (though to be fair the term is used to refer to anyone who spends the night locked in the building as we endeavor to come up with something worthwhile and/or original for you kind and jaded folks out there in Virtualrealityland) and when encountered looking all sorts of dead, respond to nearly question concerning their state of mind with small whimpers or outright screams.
The latter are tolerated because, hey hey, most of feel like screaming all the time for any number of reasons, anyway, so lack of...
More → 24-Hour Party People
Hey there, general public! A new poll came out finding that members of the Tea Party (or, as we prefer to call them, the Teabaggers, which makes us snicker like little naughty boys playing Halo) are white, male, over-45 Republicans who don't like the President because he's doing more to help the poor than the middle class or the rich.
First question: Help the rich do what? What problems are the rich having that they need the President to pay more attention to them? He'll pay 100% attention to them when it's campaign time, so maybe they should lick their Wall...
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