Category Archives: Daily Doldrums

Laws of the 21st Century

It has come to our attention that the United States Supreme Court is of the opinion that corporations should be enjoying “free speech” rights, but only as far as contributing to political candidates and causes. It is perhaps an unsurprising … Continue reading

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The Toilet Saga

There’s nothing we like better than a well-written book, and there is nothing like a well-written book inside the runaway bestselling ode to chastity and the most boring girlfriend in the world known as Twilight, by some weepy-eyed hack living … Continue reading

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Apro pos of nothing: Brodyquest!

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Unconfirmed Rumors

Stevebot is cheap, because only the head and hands need to be “human,” everything else is covered up with denim and black turtlenecks. He only needs to move around a little on a stage, and sometimes appear at coffee shops with other corporate executive bots. Meanwhile, Stevebot frees up the real Steve to do all the more important things like destroy historic homes and park in handicapped spots. Continue reading

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Facepeople

Who said you had to be on Facebook in the first place? And what business is it of yours what the hell they do with their own services? What, you want your money back? You thought all this time they were like some “everything should be free!” zombies using Linux on home-built computers made of weed and Slurpee cups? Continue reading

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Words Matter

Anyone else notice a general lack of attention being duly paid to the words and phrases we are using from day to day? The vernacular is being systematically pared down on one hand, while words are being repositioned or invented on the other. Continue reading

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A Natural Disaster

Earthquakes, volcanos, tidal waves, Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin. Is there no end to the nightmares we must suffer as residents of planet Earth? Continue reading

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Ebert’s Game

What we’d like to do, if you’ll allow, is to compare a few of the games we’ve made available for our employees in The Game Room with famous works of what is generally recognized to be “art,” just to see, you know, if they’re in the same ball park, so to speak. Continue reading

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What Drug Does One Take to Recover From Prescription Drug Commercials?

So the drug manufacturer, thinking either “Now we can help all those poor, unfortunate bald eyelid sufferers” or, more likely, “Now we can rake in more dough with a narrowly-defined drug by making women ashamed of yet another physical feature which has no actual bearing on their health or happiness!” (the latter, we’re guessing) and they grabbed Brooke to bemoan publicly that her lashes simply cannot hold up to comparison with the caterpillariness of her Andy Rooney eyebrows, and a new market was born. Continue reading

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24-Hour Party People

Having problems because you’re rich? We’ll take all that filthy lucre off your hands and spend it wisely on things like shoes, fresh flowers, indoor hot tubs and wall-to-wall shag. Because frankly, old white dudes, we’re feeling about as sorry for you as we do for… someone we couldn’t give a rat’s ass about. Continue reading

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