Category Archives: The Sporting Life

Salary bump

The next time you’re contemplating going in to ask your boss for a raise, consider the following: If you walked into his office demanding $100,000 a year, under his new contract Shaq will make that much in about a week. … Continue reading

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The tortoise and the faster tortoise

The Livermore 250 isn’t your usual race. To compete, you have to be old. And it helps if you’re in a wheelchair, or use a walker. Standing up isn’t necessarily part of a winning strategy. The senior citizens of the … Continue reading

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Freak basketball

You have to hand it to 10-year-old Australian Terry Vo, who will certainly have the weirdest tale to tell when he’s 16, drunk and trying to impress the girl to get into her knickers. Because while the other lads may … Continue reading

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Look kids, no pants!

Michael Jackson has won a different case in the court of public opinion, not really, but it ties in nicely with other current events and I didn’t have a more obvious joke here so you end up with a Michael … Continue reading

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But what about the super-children?

Congress listened intently today as the commissioner of baseball defended MLB’s drug-testing policy regarding the use of steroids that no one in professional sports is actually using anyway, if we’re to believe what these multi-millionaires with 20-inch biceps are telling … Continue reading

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Dear Patriots Fans,

Ok, so you are a FUCKING DYNASTY. Whatever. Shut up about it already.

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Staying power

From News You Already Knew: A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association says that it doesn’t really matter which diet you choose to lose weight, the key is finding one and sticking with it. Doctors at … Continue reading

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Rain does a body good

Seattle residents are the fittest in the U.S., and Houston residents are fat tubs of lard according to Men’s Fitness magazine. After surveying 50 cities and looking at 14 factors like Oprah watching, number of Krispy Kreme locales and how … Continue reading

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NintendNo

If you’re still considering running out and buying one of Nintendo’s new handhelds, the DS, you’d better start running a lot faster. Sales of the gamer are running much faster than anticipated, and after selling 500,000 of the suckers in … Continue reading

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Full contact women’s volleyball

Man, it’s a tough life being on a winning Chicago High School girl’s volleyball team. First, you r opponents refuse to shake hands after a close game. Then, they come into your locker room and beat the shit out of … Continue reading

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