Category Archives: What a world! What a world!

Jobs to Stanford grads: Dumbasses!

Apple head honcho Steve Jobs told a bunch of Stanford grads, who just spent nearly $30k per year to capture their precious diplomas, that the best thing he ever did was drop out of college. Jobs, with a net worth … Continue reading

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Here’s the new Pope, same as the old Pope

Unsurprisingly, Pope Benedict XVI pronounced same-sex marriage as “expressions of an anarchic freedom,” but also magnanimously included civil unions and trial marriages, so it’s not just the gays to blame this time! He said that marriage is not just a … Continue reading

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It’s official: Bush doesn’t know ass from hole in the ozone.

Science academies in Great Britain, France, Russia, Germany, the U.S., Japan, Italy and Canada, along with those of Brazil, China and India are all in agreement that the current White House administration’s policy on climate change is not simply misguided, … Continue reading

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Godless Americans unite!

Atheists have two things in common; they don’t believe in God, and they’re not fans of getting organized. The other religions may have churches to attend to celebrate their mutual belief structures, but atheists just sit alone on Sundays watching … Continue reading

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A lottery luck

On April 25th, Eric J. Wagner bought an Illinois Lottery ticket that he would soon learn was worth $37.5 million. That’s the good news. The bad news is that on April 22nd, he was the target of a U.S. Bureau … Continue reading

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Aaaauuuuuuugh! (Boing!)

Gloria Jummati was packing for her return trip to Chicago from her Florida condo when she became dizzy from the smell of suntan lotion and Daiquiris, stumbled over to the edge of her 9th story balcony and fell towards the … Continue reading

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Global warning

In order to stop their glacier from melting under the threat of global warming, the Gemsstock ski resort in Switzerland is wrapping their ice in an $83,000 polyester blanket. Glaciers are the latest endangered species — even though, yeas, they’re … Continue reading

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The $45,000 cat

Paula Roemer used to let her pet cat, Yofi, outside to roam about and go meow and pee and cover up the pee and so forth, until her neighbor’s dog broke through a fence and attacked Yofi, killing the kitty … Continue reading

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Less boobies, more pom poms

In a move to restrict “overly sexual performances” by its cheerleaders, the Texas state legislature has voted to ban suggestive cheerleading from its schools because, said its author, Democrat Al Edwards, the mere appearence of it leads immediately to pregnancies, … Continue reading

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Finger play

It’s the latest trend to hit food services! In Wilmington, North Carolina, this time, a man enjoying a pint of frozen custard bought at Kohl’s Frozen Custard shop on Sunday stuck a finger in his mouth that wasn’t his — … Continue reading

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