Things we can please stop doing.

Am I the only one sick and tired of rounded corners on everything? Can we please stop using them for every damned Web interface? They’re perfectly acceptible for “Hello Kitty World” or “Barbie’s Fashion Blog,” but for almost anything else I deem them unworthy of further attention.

While I’m at it, I would like to suggest that we stamp out using dotted underlines for links instead of good old reliable solid underlining. I don’t care if you want to leave off the underlining and only have it show up for hovering, but make it solid and forceful and gritty, for crying out loud!

Lastly, I have nothing against drop shadows or beveled edges. I am, in fact, a fan of interfaces that look like you could touch them, pick them up, lick them. I like floaty things (obviously) and visual tricks and all that, but at least try not to do what everyone else is doing. Yes, I have, in my time, copiedripped off other designer’s ideas, but I hope I managed to do something new and/or interesting with them and didn’t just bring them in wholesale.

Okay, now with that off my chest, I return you back to roaming the Web without worrying about how it’s presented to you.

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Kids. They’re so depressing.

Apparently, those of us who think we’re happier having made the decision that the last thing we need to add to our lives is a struggling “bundle of joy” that spits up and shits its pants and wails in restaurants made the right choice; we are happier.

Children are now more of an economic burden than a boon, they’re mor edemanding, willful and selfish, and they lack a sense of humor about themselves.

This is all mostly a Western P.O.V., however. In other countries, big families stay together and everyone helps out when the baby starts crying at 3 a.m., or they get extra weeks off from work to handle the duties, but here in Modern America, parents are left to fend for themselves.

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Advertising works!

Having worked in the online marketing field for the past five years and having also managed to escape with the tattered remnants of my deep black soul, it’s surprising to me that any form of advertising is effective at all.

But a new (and probably biased) study from the University of Connecticut states that for every alcohol ad a “young person” watches, it increases number of drinks they’re going to imbibe by 1%. So 1 ad = 1 more drink, give or take.

The only ad for alcohol that’s had any effect on me is that Disaronno one where some multi-ethnic Yuppies are in a Disaronno-only bar ordering Disaronno’s when the cute bartender starts to take away some chick’s drink, but she stops him so she can suck the remnants off an ice cube. Suck off an ice cube.

Hmm, I wonder why that appeals to me so much?

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Food Porn

If ever there was a picture of food guaranteed to make you feel suddenly ravenous and drooling and, yes, I’ll say it, erect with desire, this is it.

WARNING: 1 pound of cheddar and ½ a pound of macaroni. ‘S’all I’m saying.

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Remember this name: Mehmet Ali Kocyigit

I have a feeling that if you’re ever stuck for a name that will really stump the rest of the bar when it comes time to pay for drinks, you’d be hard-pressed to come up with a better Trivial Pursuit name than that of the first person outside of Asia to die from bird flu.

You know how they keep trying to scare us? You know how everything is somehow our fault for wanting to just be able to go on day to day and not, you know, have heart palpitations about terrorists or hurricanes or earthquakes or bird flu?

I was going somewhere with that but then iTunes started playing “Toxic” by Brittney and I really need to get up and shake my ass now.

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Detroit, like Hollywood, officially out of new ideas

The new Dodge Challenger “concept” looks exactly – exactly – like it just rolled off the assembly line circa 1971. Round headlights and all.

Since I’m actually old enough to remember these cars when they were made back when they were made to look like this, it seems to me like, uh, so, what are the car designers getting paid for, exactly? I mean, can I walk into a design shop and go get a Revell plastic model of a 1975 AMC Pacer and say “this is the new new thing?” First they remake the Mustang, now this.

Keep in mind that the Mini was not reintroduced to look exactly like its predecessor, they actually created several models that showed the evolution that the car would have made in the intervening years instead of slapping the old design on a new powertrain and calling it “exciting and new!”

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The traveller’s nightmare

I’ll have to rethink my ideas of a bad travel day after reading this story about the passengers of an Air India flight from Los Angeles to New Delhi via Frankfurt.

The flight was scheduled to take off Monday, but the plane blew a tire on take off, dumped fuel over the ocean and landed back at LAX safely, except for the damage done to a runway and the 200 lbs. in rubber and metal left there. Tuesday, second attempt, but one engine wouldn’t start on their second plane and after sitting on the tarmac for 5 hours they were shuttled to a hotel at 2:30 in the morning.

Third attempt, their 1PM flight managed to get off the ground at 4:30 – after a 45-hour delay. Whee!

Frankly, after that long, I’d probably have just stayed in Los Angeles, even if it is hell.

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Need: Personal jump-starter.

I just cannot get going today, for some reason. The coffee is doing nothing, I am sitting at the computer with, like, three projects to work on and none of them are cranking my ‘nads, as it were, and the sky is gray and the cat is sleeping and it’s one week to Xmas and I just cannot get going.

I see the need for a personal jump-starter, some sort of contrivance that you hook up to… what? Your nipples? Nipples jumps to mind. You hook it up to your nipples and it does for you what it would do for a car, just get everything humping, so to speak, and on its way.

I am also struck by the fact that I’ve used “nipples,” “humping,” and “cranking my ‘nads” in the authoring of this post, suggesting that I don’t so much need a machine to jolt me as something (or someone) a bit more personal in nature.

As if that is, in any way, a surprise.

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“Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter”

Won’t someone please buy this for me so I have something super fun to watch on Christmas morning? I didn’t get a tree this year and I don’t have any lights to put around the apartment windows and lord knows there’s a chance in hell that there’ll be any snow on the ground and my XBOX360 is nowhere in sight, so all I want is a cup of hot cocoa with Amaretto and whipped cream and “Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter” in the DVD.

If there’s a God in heaven, let it be so!

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Mmmm, Sacreligiousy!

How are you going to spend the long hours of nothingness after the presents have been opened and you’ve sung your carols and drank your nog and protested your local Wal-Mart’s refusal to utter the word “Christmas” this Christmas?

Playing Jesus Dress Up! No more confusing the son of God with Santa, now you can dress your savior up to look just like St. Nicolas! Or a gingerbread Christ!

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