EDITORIAL: Hang up your god damned phones you fucking morons

It’s not really news when yet another idiot talking on his or her cellphone while driving has an accident. But here’s the thing: Now, you’re almost hitting me, and that’s where I draw the line.
Three times in as many days, I have been nearly hit on my bike by some fucking moron paying more attention to the conversation they’re having about tonight’s dinner instead of the guy on the bike minding his own business and not actually proceeding at breakneck speeds. I’m not a small target to miss, I’m actually pretty big — though I realize that most drivers inside their cars are only looking for other cars rather than, like, bikers or mototcycles or the occasional annoying pedestrian who gets in their way not aware that they fucking own the road.
I swear to whatever God exists that the next person who nearly hits me because they’re talking on their phone and then they sort of shrug and look sheepish because, oops, sorry, almost killed you, I’m grabbing that fucking shiny toy out of your selfish, ignorant hands and shoving up your ass. Then we’ll see how many minutes you’re using next month.
Driving? Get off the fucking phone. Moron.

This entry was posted in Listening to Myself Think. Bookmark the permalink.